이딴 쓸데ㅇ벗는 분석을 하는넘은 룰웹에만 있는줄 알았;;;;
며칠전 뉴욕메츠의 야구경기가 끝난 후
TV기자가 메츠 락커룸 안에서 선수들이랑 인터뷰를 하고 있었단다.
그때 화면배경으로 어떤 선수가 지나갔는데
샤워하고 나오면서 타올도 안 두른채로 지나간지라
아랫도리가 그.대.로. 방송을 탔단다;;;;;;;
(문제의 스샷은 여기…에 있지만… 이딴 혐짤을 대체 누가 클릭할꼬;;;;;)
이딴건 그냥 그러려니 하고 넘어가면 될텐데
어떤 시간 남아도는 생퀴가 그 스샷을 분석;;;해서
어느 선수의 아랫도리였는지를 알아냈단다;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Well, let’s do this CSI style:
Team: Mets. Possible culprits: 25
Since he is showering that day, it likely narrows it down to one of the ten players who appeared in Friday night’s game.
Race: White. Torres, Santana, Quintanilla – you’re out.
Penis status: circumcised
Pubes status: shorn. The penis is likely attached to an unmarried player who still feels as though he needs to impress the ladies
Height: Unknown, BUT we can see that the top of his penis stands at precisely 5.5 blue bricks from the ground, less 5 x 1 inch = 5 inches for the caulk (heh) between the bricks. Assuming these are painted cinder blocks, which run 8 x 8 x 16 inches, we can infer that the apogee of his dong is 39 inches from the ground. The top of my own penis stands 36.5 inches from the ground, and at 5’11”, that runs at a ratio of 51.4% of my height. Extrapolating that ratio to 39 inches, our penissy pal likely stands approximately 6’3 and 3/4″.
Handedness: Left (in the video, the player can be seen to be carrying a towel in his left hand, and his right hand to be empty).
Discussion: We have on our hands a left-handed, caucasian, 6’4″ circumcised player from Friday night’s game.
Conclusion: The only caucasian, unmarried, left-handed throwing player from last night’s game was first baseman Ike Davis, who stands 6’4″ and is Jewish (i.e., likely circumcised).
TL;DR: IKE FUCKING DAVIS
이 정도면 룰웹 어디다 올려놔도 서럽지 않겠;;;;;;;;;